Friday, July 20, 2012
10 Do’s and Don’ts for Hockey Parents - Guidelines to help your Child Succeed at Hockey
As hockey parents we are very competitive and passionate about the game of hockey. We all want nothing more than our kids to succeed at hockey and we all carry that glimmer of hope that one day our kids will play in the NHL. Realistically that’s a long shot. So many factors go into a child making it to the big leagues that I can’t even begin to list. This being said I do believe that the environment in which a child’s minor hockey career is nurtured is the most important one. Not only for trying to "make it" but to ensure a child has the most enjoyable hockey experience they possibly can with friends, memories and lessons they can carry through their entire lives. Here’s a list of 10 things that us as hockey parents can do and definitely not do.
1. Don’t Coach from the stands - Positive encouragement and team spirit is fine. Yelling instructions at your child during a game for things he/she may or may not be doing is not. First off your child will feel centered out and probably not too good about themselves. Secondly, your message may not be consistent with the coaches which can potentially confuse your child.
2. Don’t Tell the Coaches How to Coach - Leave the coaching to the coaches. Never tell the coaches how to do their job.
3. Don’t Yell at your Child for his/her Performance… Especially in Front of the Other Kids – Yelling at your child because he/she did not live up to your expectations is a sure way to kill confidence and interest in hockey. Yelling at your child in front of other kids is even worse as your child will also feel embarrassed. Repeated behavior like this will even cause your child to resent you. Remember this is your child’s game not yours. You’re there to pay the hockey bills, provide transportation and support your child.
4. Don’t Talk Negatively About your Childs Teammates, Other Parents or Coaches in Front of your Child – Kids hear everything and if you’re in the front seat of your car talking badly about others and don’t think your child hears you’re wrong. Having a negative opinion about others will rub off on your child and he/she will begin to demonstrate the same behavior.
5. Don’t Live Through your Child – You didn’t make it to the NHL well neither did 99.5% of the rest of us. Just because you didn’t make it doesn’t make it your child’s responsibility to do so on your behalf.
6. Don’t Force your Child to Play Hockey – You may be a hockey nut but the worst thing you can do is make your child play hockey. In fact, forcing your child to play any sport or explore any activities he/she has no interest in is of no benefit to him/her.
7. Accept that your Child isn’t the Best – There will always be another child better. Accept it. One of the biggest eye openers you will experience is when your child makes the jump from house league to rep. You thought he/she was a star until rep hockey when everyone is pretty good.
8. Don’t compare your Child to other Kids – Comparing your child’s hockey ability to other kids will do nothing but have a negative impact especially if you do it openly in front of him/her. Your child will feel like they’re not good enough for you and they’re not living up to your standards. As a result your child will lose confidence in their ability.
9. Guard your Child from the Politics of Hockey – Hockey can be very cut throat especially at the higher levels. The politics can take the fun out of everything. Be sure to guard your child from all hockey politics and that any discussions of this nature are done without your child around.
10. Encourage your Child to Have Fun – Kids of any age are competitive. When a child loses he/she may get really down on themselves. On the flipside winning can be a too much of a focus (Of course that’s what rep hockey is mostly about). Nonetheless talk often to you child about the fun aspects of hockey. The more you do and accentuate positive fun the more it will rub off. Your child should always leave the rink with a smile and drive to the rink really excited.
Visit the Wonderful World of Minor Hockey for a complete list of 27 Do's and Don'ts for Hockey Parents as well as advice, musings and insights into the fun, exciting and often intense game of youth hockey.
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